SASUKE WHY DID YOU LEAVE SAKURA!
by BBQramen
Summary: Sakura's in the hospital and is passed out when she wakes up she screams "SASUKE WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!" Naruto and Ino look after her. The only pairing is Sasusaku. This is sort of a parody of when Sasuke left the Leaf village, not really a sappy story. This is told in third person POV, with some funny Naruto thoughts. Please read and review!
1. Screaming, Tissues, and Meditating

**CHAPTER 1**

**Screaming, Tissues, and Meditating **

_Konoha Hospital-3__rd__ floor-5:00AM_

"SASUKE! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!" Sakura's screams could be heard all over the hospital that night, despite her being covered in a mountain of tissues. She grabbed the newly emptied box and in one punch it was flat.

"Sakura, Sakura, calm down! Don't worry he'll be back real soon." Naruto stood up and awkwardly attempted to remove the tissues pilling over Sakura's head. After failing, at least 20 times and getting a black eye, Naruto grabbed a new box from pile of new tissue boxes (brought to you by, you guessed it, Naruto Uzumaki!).

Sakura had been checked in the hospital after receiving a concussion, and she was found on a bench right outside of Konoha's exit. Kakashi found her there while doing…Kakashi things, at 3:00AM. He did his super ninja stuff and somehow managed to carry her all the way to the hospital (which was a whopping 3 miles away) in a record time of 1 minute and 0.00000000009 seconds (she was checked in at about 3:02AM). Naruto and Ino came as quickly as they could to provide support to their ailing friend. They took turns watching over her as she waved from consciousness to unconsciousness. Once Sakura woke up from the coma she started screaming (Who would have known?), "SASUKE! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!" The doctors came in (they didn't have to hear the alert system, all they needed was the screaming). It took them about 50 more times of the "SASUKE! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!" before they came to the assumption that Sasuke had left the village to fulfill his ultimate dream of ultimate power and the ultimate (I'm using that word too much) victory of killing his brother. Sure enough they found his apartment empty (but there were tons of candy wrappers littering the floor, which is funny because everyone knows Sasuke hates sweets). You would think Ino would be spazzing out and freaking out and all the outs right now, but she was perfectly calm. Actually she started starring at the tulips next to Sakura's bed. Naruto tried to tap her on the shoulder but her reaction was,

"Ahh! Don't you see that I'm trying to meditate right now?!" After a couple more minutes of this craziness she calmly walked out of the room and sat on one of the chairs outside of the room and continued on with her state of madness. Shikamaru and Choji came to help Ino, but she wouldn't budge, so they helped out Naruto (don't you find it a little creepy that a bunch of guys are watching Sakura instead of a bunch of girls?).


	2. More Screaming, Music, and McFly

**CHAPTER 2**

**More Screaming, Music, and McFly (no not Marty McFly, the band McFly)**

_Kohona Hospital-Do I really have to repeat this? I mean it's basically the same thing except that it's 5:02AM_

For the last two minutes that I have been telling the back story of this story Sakura has fallen into full consciousness. She has also been telling her back story for this story. I don't feel like typing in all of the times she blows her nose, I'll just write her story in all caps, and in your mind pretend she blows her nose after every two words, okay? Yes.

"HE TOLD ME HE WAS LEAVING TO GO SOMEWHERE A COUPLE WEEKS BEFORE TODAY, OR WAS IT YESTERDAY, I DON'T REALLY KNOW. BUT, LIKE, I OFFERED TO PAY FOR ALL OF HIS RAMEN IF HE DIDN'T GO, BUT THAT APPARENTLY ONLY WORKS ON NARUTO. HE WAS ALSO, LIKE, I DON'T LIKE RAMEN I JUST LIKE SPRING ROLLS AND RICE BALLS. WHO LIKE PLAIN RICE, UNLESS IT'S BROWN? I MEAN IT'S JUST GROSS EATING PLAIN RICE! SPRING ROLLS ARE REALLY GOOD, BUT I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAD WHY HE LIKES PLAIN RICE!" At this moment Choji and Shikamaru have been called out, by Lady Tsunade herself, to be on the super cool "SASUKE RETRIVIAL SQUAD!" (When you read that make sure you make it sound cool in your head, or just let it loose and say it out loud). Sakura was still ranting really loudly so she didn't notice they had left the room. Naruto poked his head out of the door and asked if he could be part of the "SASUKE RETRIVAL SQUAD!"

"NO! You are the only available and mentally stable person Sakura can lean on right now! Let her lean on you, because she needs somebody to lean on. I did not mean that to be a pun." After her sharp response she went off to collect the other people who were not "close" enough to Sakura to stay here and let her lean on their shoulders.

_"What does she mean that Shikamaru and Chouji aren't close to her? They are totally close to her, they did stuff and other stuff, I think I saw them eat ramen with her (how could they not invite me?)." _Naruto thought.

Naruto turned around and placed Sakura's head on his forearm, but it slid off. He placed it above his elbow, but it slid off again. He tried the same thing, but bent his elbow, but it still slid off. He grabbed one of those cool doctor chairs and put Sakura's head on his shoulder. This time it stayed on for a full 3.00000000009 seconds before Sakura head slammed Naruto's shoulder and Naruto whimpered and moved away from her. She continued ranting.

"I EVEN BOUGHT HIM THE NEW MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE CD BUT HE LIKES GREEN DAY! BUT EVERYONE KNOWS PANIC! AT THE DISCO IS THE BEST, AND I'M NOT KIDDING YOU! HOW COULD HE LIKE GREEN DAY, THEY AREN'T EVEN EMO! THEY'RE PUNK ROCK, POP PUNK, AND ALTERNATIVE ROCK, ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA! BUT I THINK HE MENTIONED THAT HE LIKED PARAMORE, BUT I LIKE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS AND ALL TIME LOW BETTER. I NEVER REALLY KNEW THEY WERE EMO, I THOUGHT THEY WERE LIKE GREEN DAY. BUT THIS IS ALL ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA, SO DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!"

Naruto patted her on the shoulder and said, "Don't worry I like Panic! At the Disco too."

_"But McFly is the best." _Naruto silently thought.


	3. People, Nakedness, and Oxygen Tanks

**CHAPTER 3**

**People, Nakedness, and Oxygen Tanks**

_Same place-Same Room-5:34AM_

"SASUKE!" Sakura wails then blows her nose.

A nurse slides the door open and says, "Mr. Naruto Uzumaki, please come out here for a second." Sakura is wailing so loudly that she doesn't even notice Naruto slip out of the room.

As soon as he steps out of the room Naruto hears a faint POOF! The nurse is nowhere to be seen. _He got me again, with that darn transformation jutsu! _Naruto feels a cold hand on his shoulder and gasps at what he sees. It's Sasuke, in nothing but his underwear and a man purse!

"Dude, put on some pants, and a shirt." Shikamaru covers his eyes as he walks into the hallway.

"You got him back!" Naruto jumps up and down and tackles Shikamaru, but a mattress magically appears under them (wait they're ninjas not wizards). Sorry, Shikamaru dodges the hug and Naruto's face lands into a flower pot, with tulips in it (tulips are very popular in this hospital, this pot had each one of the colors of the rainbow in it; the one in Sakura's room were white and were from Ino's flower shop).

"How did you do it?" Naruto mumbles after getting up with the flower pot was still stuck on his head.

"Don't you feel a little awkward with Sasuke being half naked? I think he should get dressed." Shikamaru suggests.

"Yeah," Naruto responds. Shikamaru is a genius, so Kakashi told Team 7 to do whatever he says, unless Shikamaru is joking. Sasuke slides into the closest room next to him to change; the room is Sakura's just to let you know.

"OMG! SASUKE HAS NOTHING ON BUT HIS UNDERWEAR AND A MAN PURSE! LOOK AT THOSE ABS! WOAH, HE'S PUTTING ON HIS PANTS AND A SHIRT! WAIT ISN'T SASUKE SUPPOSED TO BE GONE? NO! ILLUSION SASUKE IS LEAVING!" We hear a bonk and assume Sakura passes out again and hits her head on the backboard.

"Okay!" Naruto squeals like a little kid. "How did you find Sasuke?"

"Okay!" Shikamaru repeats sarcastically. "As we were about to head out I turned around, for no other reason then to turn around, and Sasuke's hand was on my shoulder and I was like OMG!" The OMG! Was no said a sarcastic way. "Then, I thought, 'OMG! how could this kid sneak up behind me. I mean, I'm the chunin here! I'm the genius with an IQ of over 200, which is regarded as an immeasurable intelligence! And then this dude who is the second to last survivor of his clan sneaks up on me! How is this possible?'" Shikamaru turns to the wall and wipes away his slowly developing tears. "Sorry. That's all I know. Sasuke, care to explain?" He doesn't show a sign of hatred towards Sasuke when he said that.

"_Wow, he is so cool! Maybe even cooler than Sasuke!" _Naruto thinks.

*Cue cool Sasuke theme music*

"Sakura had given me these chocolates last month and she stayed over to eat some because I told her I didn't like sweets. I thought everyone knew I didn't like sweets, but I think she knew but she was doing that thing that girls do. What is that called? Oh yeah, flirting. I don't think it really counts, because I asked her for help a couple weeks ago but she couldn't help me, so this was probably her way of paying back. Anyways, the fourteenth chocolate that she ate had this rock in it.

"After she left I looked at the box and it said to go to the KONOHAMARU HUT right outside of the village in like two months if we had a chocolate with a rock in it. A couple weeks before today I told Sakura that I was going outside of the village today. I couldn't even mention about the chocolates before she started screaming about offering to pay for my ramen. Then she bought me this My Chemical Romance CD, but then I told her I liked Green Day. Then she started screaming about how awesome Panic! At the Disco is and she wouldn't stop. I was about to tell her that I would totally go to a concert with her, but she still wouldn't stop screaming.

"Before I went to the KONOAMARU HUT I stopped by her house to ask if she wanted to come. It was around 1 AM and I thought if we could make it back early we could watch the sunset together. But before I could say that she started bawling and throwing chocolates at me. I made it all the way to the exit where she fainted and hit her head on the parakeet cage. All the village entrance lights were on so I hoped someone might see her and bring her back home. Well, I found the KONOHAMARU HUT and got our prize. It was a bunch of tickets to all of these bands coming here. I thought that Sakura and I could go to them, you know, together." Sasuke started blushing. "I was about to say that out loud but I noticed Sakura wasn't there. So I ran back as quickly as I could and found Shikamaru." Sasuke said that all in one breath and was now out of breath. So Shikamaru went to a nurse and asked her to bring them an oxygen tank.

"Did Shikamaru already fill you in about what happened to Sakura?" Naruto questioned Sasuke.

Sasuke took off the breathing mask and responded, "Yeah."

"Okay. So now you know that you have to wake her up, right?"

"Why does he have to wake her up? I'm the one who found him." Shikamaru interrupts before Sasuke can take off his breathing mask again.

Sasuke mumbles something under his mask, but Shikamaru puts his hand over the mask so Sasuke can't take it off. "I know, you found me, but still."

"Yeah, but this should be like Snow White, where the prince has to kiss the girl to wake her up." Naruto says.

"OMG SASUKE YOU'RE BACK!" Sakura slammed closed her door and tackled Sasuke. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE?! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?! NEVER MIND DON'T ANSWER THAT! OH, I MISS YOU SO MUCH!"

Sasuke's oxygen tank fell over but he just took off the mask and hugged Sakura back then told her about the tickets and the KONOHAMARU HUT.

Naruto smiled and said, "So much for the Snow White thing."

=^.^=

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**A/N: **I sort of thought the ending was a bit corny or silly, but please REVIEW and tell me what you thought about it. This is my first story so thanks a lot for reading it! Please review with other thoughts and ideas that you have!


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